Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
