he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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