I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
