In the future we'll all be gay
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My life is pants optional.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
