i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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