Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
