One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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