Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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