Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
