And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
