addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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