I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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