can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
