i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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