I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
