I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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