i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
