whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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