Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Can I color on your dick again?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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