I'm eating all of the evidence.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
