you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
