The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
