My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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