last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
