Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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