i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
