If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
