And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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