Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
