I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
