I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
