Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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