Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
