I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
