Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
