Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
