I CAN MOONWALK!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
