dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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