i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
never play flip cup with pint glasses
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
