It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
