I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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