smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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