i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
