Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
