How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
