He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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