So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
