i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
im on a boat
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