i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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