I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There's always time for handjobs
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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