If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
