Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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