Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
nutella sex= disaster
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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