I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
