I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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