Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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