He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
