hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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