Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
