Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Actions speak louder than pants.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I have aggressive nipples.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
