I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
3 2 1 whiskey
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
