I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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