We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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