You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
