I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
