So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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